Singing in the shower?

Today I need to speak about the size of my shower.
I need to get it off my chest. Air it. Hang it out to dry.
In short, it's coming out of the closet for all the
world to see.

I have now determined that my shower is in fact,
smaller than the triangular-shaped one I had in my shared
cabin on the cruise ship I had worked on. I didn't think that
was possible.

That is until I moved into La Riviera Tower. A glittering jewel
set amidst the luxurious building site and dumping ground
of the UAE's cutting-edge city of Dubai.

So without further ado, here follows an account of my
morning shower routine.

I open up the taps and let the water run a bit, till the
hot water comes through. It's all good. I then proceed
to get into the shower and try to close the L-shaped
shower curtains around me. This often fails miserably,
since the curtain rail sags in the middle and this,
in turn causes the curtains on both sides to slide into
the centre as well. I try and remedy this by splashing water
onto the tiles to my left and my right and then 'sticking'
the plastic layer of the shower curtain onto the tiles.

I then proceed wash the whole of my body as quickly as possible.
This would be easier if my now wet skin didn't also stick
to the plastic shower curtain, which makes the 'sealed-off'
bits come away from the tiles and gape open to the left
and right of me. More splashing of tiles and sticking of
curtains. More peeling my wet butt off of the shower curtains.
As you see, this ritual could continue for hours.

After I've tried to get to all the bits that needed cleaning,
I open up the curtains with a flourish, only to find the Mississippi
River lapping gently at the edges of the shower basin. And look!
There goes Huck Finn, feet a'dangling off the edges of the woven
reed IKEA mat, drifting downriver towards the living room.

The joys of living in a country claiming to be at the cutting-edge
of just about everything you've ever heard of, never ceases to
amaze me. Perhaps they should go back and learn the basics of
plumbing? Until then, I guess I just won't be singing in my shower.